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FearsAll types of fears beset a child from the very beginning of their life. When waking up a infant might feel afraid because they don’t have the mothers reassuring presence beside them or they may be hungry and food is late in coming so they experience anxiety. From time to time similar anxieties and fears will spring up in children. If a child wanders out of sight from her parents in a busy shopping center they will get the same panic they did when they were a baby. There is no presence of mind the child to ask someone to help find their parents or to go looking for them. Rather the child starts crying when they feel they will never be able to see their parents again in the hopes that the parents will come get them. Parents threats for making children more obedient and careful when they say, “don’t stay behind or you will get lost” is often the cause for this behavior. Another common threat a parents will make is “if you are not a good girl I will give you to a policeman and he will lock you up” which instill fear in a child whenever they become naughty. In a child’s mind this is a dangerous fear. The child might develop a life-long dread of the police even though they stop being naughty which can turn into a hatred and wish for revenge later in life. The child will do anything to get on the wrong side of the law since they feel they are the natural enemies and wants to get even with them. Fears of StrangersA great fear of strangers is developed in children who have few contacts with outside people and have over protective mothers. Even for a few hours, some mothers don’t allow anyone to do anything for their child including a close friend or a near relative because they do not trust them with their child. This close bond must be loosened as time goes on otherwise a child will suffer greatly as school days approach. A child make stay awake at night by the ordeal of going to school where everything and everybody is new because they are wondering what will happen the following day. In school children can be very cruel to timid children and will both physically and mentally tease and bully them which can cause the child to have lifelong physical and psychological injures. Parents, especially mothers, should give their children freedom to move about by themselves and make friends rather than tying them to the apron strings so that they will be handicapped later in life before a stranger. Serious problems can result in adult life with a shyness around strangers and all parts of life including jobs, finding a life mate and dealing with other people. Fear of the DarkMany child will never go into a dark room because they are afraid of the dark. The fear of darkness is once again largely instilled by parents who are trying to keep their child out of mischief. A mother will often say to a child “don’t go into that dark room or the devil, ghost or goblin will get you” and this causes a child to become acutely afraid of the darkness even when they grow up and continue to hesitate before going into a dark room alone. Parents should reassure children who have a natural fear of the dark that nothing bad is going to happen to them and that you love them and will protect them. Leave a dim light on in the child’s room at night and leave the door open. Through the open door conversation will float into the room and the light will help reduce their fear helping them to stand the dark again. Fear of DeathThe loss of a pet is often a child’s first encounter with death. You can tell a child “he was very sick and therefore God called him to heaven to take care of him” to try and explain the phenomenon. There are several ways that a young child can react to the death. A child may become afraid of death because they think they will also die and often spend weeks in morose silence because they are regretting the nastiness and selfishness with which they treated the one who departed. It is best to explain to your child that all pets and people don’t die at a young age and they for years to come you will be together. Hug and smile at the child at the same time. Fear of AnimalsOften times children will play fearlessly with animals like dogs and cats, but when a strange dogs snaps at them unexpectedly or a cat suddenly scratches them they will be frightened. In the future their natural reaction will be to avoid these animals, however a parent should explain that not all dogs and cats are like that and love to play with small children and that many will purr and bark softly rather than attack. Never drag a child to a dog in an effort to reassure them if they are still afraid of a dog because of the experience, this will only increase their fear of the animal. The child themselves will get over the fear and approach the animals again once the months go by and the memory of the bad experience begins to dim. By observing the games a child plays when alone a parent can learn a great deal about their fears and wishes. What a child thinks of persons and things in their environment, how they are escaping their difficulties or to attain wishes they couldn’t attain in real life are all connected to a child’s fantasies and day dreams. Lonely children will often have an imaginary companion in their games. This companion can be a naughty one who does and says all the things that the child doesn’t have enough courage to do personally. Blame will immediately be put on the imaginary friend if something is lost or broken in the house. This tells you a great deal about what they desire in life and what they don’t achieve since this form of lying instructs a great deal of the child’s wishes. Parents should gratify some of her wishes to restore their balance so that it is unnecessary for these inventions and they won’t take a strong hold of her. You should make fun of them or scold them for telling fibs. Fears and frustrations are often combated by a children’s fantasies. A children with a fear of animals will often master their nervousness of real animals by beating up a toy animal. Pushing toy trains, cars or planes around can allow a child to assert power over a fear of trains, cars or planes. Fears are put into a child’s fantasies and by doing this they can gain control over their fears. The concept of what stealing means doesn’t exist in a small child. If a child finds another child’s toys interesting they will walk off with them. They will never understand if you scold them for this since they haven’t fully developed a sense of right and wrong. However, when your return the toys back they will understand the emotional responses of the other child. The best way is to tell your child “my child, if someone took your toys you will not like it, in the same way if you take someone else’s toys she will also not like it, so you must return the toys.” An object from school or a friend’s house may be brought back by an older child. Stealing will become their second nature later on so parents shouldn’t overlook this habit. Accompany the child and return the property to its owner is the best thing to do since it will make them realize that taking someone else’s property is wrong and they shouldn’t do it again. If the parents notice an increase in the stealing then the child can be trying to satisfy someone else’s needs or compensating for an inadequacy that may be real or imagined. Take the child to a psychiatrist immediately if family discussions and firm discipline don’t show results so the child doesn’t turn into a chronic thief and gets caught by the police. A children’s conscience grows slowly and is shaped by what the parents and others consider right and wrong, they are not born with it. When rewarded with smiles of approval and acceptance a child will want to continue in this manner and do the right things. It takes time for a child to develop a capacity for self control and a sense of what is right and wrong. Without thinking about it youngsters often take sweets and small toys from local shops or steal fruits from people’s compounds. They like them and wanted them so they took them. A child does this because they cannot distinguish between what’s their property and other people’s property. A child will stop doing this since it is a part of growing up, but parents should just keep quite and allow your child to continue. Tell your child in a gentle but firm tone that it’s not okay to bring something home that doesn’t belong to them and that they should return it with the parents accompanying them, eventually the child will start to realize the difference between what is theirs and what is others. While playing games sometimes small children will cheat, however they being to realize that other children won’t play with them if they continue as they grow older and usually mend their ways out of self respect and respect for their friends. To be successful and get a higher grade some young girls and boys will cheat during examinations in schools and colleges. The parents are the ones to blame for this type of cheating since they often press their children to do well in examinations and the child will often cheat to please their parents. Forcing a child to promise that they will not cheat in the future is often not a good thing to do. Rather you should show the child that the honest ways pay off in the long run through social acceptance and self respect, you can show them this through various examples and actions. The example set by the parents strongly influences the children. A child will invariably be honest in the parents are honest, but the children will quickly follow in their parents footsteps if they are not. |
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